Almost 20! yay?🎂

I don't know how long this ride is gonna be, no one knows, and i guess that is the fun and not so fun part of it, right? But hey, I'll be 20 in a couple of weeks and it is either i start giving more fucks or none at all.

Sometime back i wouldn't have thought my number increasing equal to some changes that doesn't have to do with my body, really, every 365 days we just add one to it and up and up it goes and for a moment you'd think it's just nothing huge. I'm just gonna be 20 and okay it does feel a lot like something, not because it represents two decades of being my utmost amazing self 😇 lol, i just think a statement my mother made sometime around late 2019 triggered that feeling.
              There was renovation going on in the house at the time and i was in school, so i called to tell her i wanted them to paint my room purple. She said it doesn't matter because how much time do i get to stay long at home anymore and it is only going to keep decreasing.

It hit me! I was barely home in 2019, between IT and exams that i had to make up for and staying back in Ilorin to start my photography, and the only time i was home? December!

In Nigeria, you don't move out at 18 to find your path 😂 you just stay in your parent's house till you're done with university or get a job or get married and that could be any age (maybe early to mid or late twenties, maybe longer). If not the pandemic, I'll be in school right now preparing for my final semester's test and also getting my project analysis done and then October will be convocation and late October I'll be in camp then serve my father land while not staying at the place that has been my HOME for 20 years! Phew! So exhausting.

Now there's a pause on every activity because of the Corona virus and yes there will be a change in the timeline of all these but still uhn.

In about a year i will have to be responsible and accountable for my actions/decisions while seeking guidance from my parent, siblings and my subconscious (and meanwhile my subconscious right now is a mess!🙄). I think all of this just summarise that this new year will mean a lot to me and i just cannot wait to see how i can handle myself while also trying not to get lost in all of the freedom that might come with it (i am so sure my sisters won't leave the sideline screaming at all the chicken shit😂😂) and i so much prayyyyy to see the end of it.

Oh! Since January i have been planning my birthday in my head and with my friends 😅 but with all that is going on in the world right now, i have come to accept that i will be having pap and akara for breakfast on that day then continue 'Grace and Frankie' on Netflix (PS: if you're not watching this series yet, make sure you do that the moment you're done reading this because it is hilarious af! And trust me to give you amazing pointers for good series😉).

#StayAtHome #StaySafe

         "The world is not what it use to be
         But, don't make an excuse out of it
             To stop being who you are
     To stop loving and caring the way you do
To stop believing things that are true to you."

with love, Aminullah.❤